There were also days I was full of life. I was in charge - I knew what I wanted and exactly how to get them (or so I thought).
You see, as I've learned, life is a journey. It's a process. Most times, we are only privy to the destination we desire but know nothing of what awaits us on the way.
It is this little lesson that has helped me realize that yes, life may seem crazy sometimes, but I don't have to be. It may become too heavy to bear but I don't have to collapse under it.
I have realized that been down for a while isn't depression. I also know now that dwelling so much on the things that are not going as they should, and considering how out of my hands they are, can lead to depression.
The key for me has been to find that balance. To believe in me. In my ability to surmount every wall, pass every crooked road, and get to my destiny. Most importantly, I have begun the habit of enjoying the process. Yes, it may seem horrible at times, but that's life and life happens to the best of us! I just cannot afford to stop living.
Falling down is life; getting back up is living.
Just a few months ago, I was totally floored. I thought I was never getting back up this time. I threw tantrums at God. And when it got to the where it seemed like all hope was lost for me, I rose up. Like a sleeping lion whose tail had just been meddled with, I sprang up from the bathroom floor where I had wretching with sorrow.
At that instant, a thought crossed my mind - the Word works!
Desperate, I began uttering the words, 'I have a sound mind...' The more I affirmed those words, the more certain I became of the truth they held - I indeed have got a sound mind!
I wasn't going to lay low anymore. I knew the series of losses I had recently encountered were what fueled this depression. But then, as my mind progressively gained tranquility, I started to believe in my ability to turn all of them to profit.
I realized suddenly that the Greatest Power lived within me. I could do anything. I just had to believe.
And I did.
In that moment, I felt rejuvenated. It seemed as though Power was been released within me -
Power that has always been there, clamoring to be noticed - and made use of.
For the first time, I took notice. And I've begun putting it to good use.
The result so far has been tremendous. I have been able to push through a lot of obstacles - things that I never thought were possible.
Been able to write this post (after 7 months since I blogged here) just shows how much ground I'm gaining per second!
And I plan on keeping at it.
Join me, would you? As I fire away!